Hello, my little critters. It’s that time of the year again when things go bump in the night and, instead of screaming in a panic, you just go down in giggles.
H A L L O W E E N
Here is a collection of witch jokes for you to enjoy
- Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle! - Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray - Q: How does the witch know what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch. - Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling! - Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked! - Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse. - Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which! - Q: How do witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch. - Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates. - Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service. - Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
A: "There's always broom for one more." - Q: When do witches cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day. - Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch. - Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick - Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes - Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling. - Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
A:Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord. - Q: What do you call a witch's garage?
A:A broom closet. - Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A:She witch-hiked! - Q: What do witches eat at Halloween ?
A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie ! - Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime ?
A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares ! - Q: How does a witch tell the time ?
A:With a witch watch ! - Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep ! - Q: What do you call two witches that share a room ?
A:Broom mates ! - Q: What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make ?
A:Snap, cackle and pop ! - Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A:An itchy witchy ! - Q: What's a cold, evil candle called ?
A:The wicked wick of the north ! - Q: What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
A:A witch in a revolving door ! - Q: What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
A:A witch dressed as a cucumber ! - Q: What happens if you see twin witches ?
A:You won't be able to see which witch is witch ! - Q: Why did the witch give up fortune telling ?
A:There was no future in it ! - Q: Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ?
A:Because it was an 'appy rash ! - Q: What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller ?
A:Broom sick ! - Q: Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ?
A:She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings ! - Q: Where did the witch get her furniture ?
A:From the ideal gnome exhibition ! - Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep ! - Q: What has six legs and flies ? A witch giving her cat a ride !
- Q: What has handles and flies ?
A: A witch in a dustbin ! - Q: What is evil and ugly and bounces ?
A: A witch on a trampoline ! - Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital ?
A: With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell ! - Q: What do witches race on ?
A: Vroomsticks ! - Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat ?
A: So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen ! - Q: How can you tell when a witch is really ugly ?
A: When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes ! - Q: Why did the witch go over the mountain ?
A: Because she couldn't go under it ! - Q: How do witches tell the time ?
A: By looking at their witch watches ! - Q: What's the best way of talking to a warty witch ?
A: By telephone ! - Q: How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ?
A: By her suntan ! - Q: What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph ?
A: A witch on a high speed train ! - Q: How is the witches team doing ?
A: They're having a spell in the first division ! - Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch ?
A: She's forecasting sunny spells ! - Q: What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema ?
A: Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom ! - Q: What is a witches favourite book?
A: Broom at the top ! - Q: What's the witches favourite pop group?
A: Broomski Beat ! - Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch?
A: Two angry witches ! - Q: What's the best way of seeing a witch?
A: On the television ! - Q: What did the witch write in her Christmas card?
A: Best vicious of the season ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch?
A: Very worried dogs ! - Q: What do little witches like to play at school?
A: Bat's cradle ! - Q: What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off ! - Q: What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV host?
A: The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio ! - Q: What kind of music do witches play on the piano?
A: Hag-time ! - Q: What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends?
A: A witch with a blindfold ! - Q: Why did the witch join the football club?
A: Because she heard they were looking for a new sweeper ! - Q: What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?
A: Don't bite any witches ! - Q: What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly?
A: Pot luck ! - Q: What do witches sing at Christmas?
A: "Deck the halls with poison ivy...." ! - Q: What is old, ugly and blue?
A: A witch holding its breath ! - Q: What do you call a witch that climbs up walls?
A: Ivy ! - Q: Why was the witch late for the party?
A: She'd lost her witch-watch ! - Q: What do you call a witch with one leg?
A: Eileen ! - Q: What is old and ugly and goes beep beep?
A: A witch in a traffic jam ! - Q: Why is a witch like a candle?
A: They are both wicked ! - Q: Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse?
A: She kept having Disney spells ! - Q: Why did the witch wear yellow stockings?
A: Because her grey ones were at the cleaners ! - Q: What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?
A: A witch in soggy shoes ! - Q: What usually runs in witches' families?
A: Noses ! - Q: What goes cackle, cackle, boom?
A: A witch in a minefield ! - Q: What happens to witches when it rains?
A: They get wet ! - Q: What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels?
A: A witch on a skateboard ! - Q: What do you call an old hag that lives by the sea?
A: A sandwitch ! - Q: What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch?
A: One composes and the other decomposes ! - Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A: A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot ! - Q: Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
A: Because she thought everybody loved her ! - Q: Why won't a witch wear a flat hat?
A: Because there is no point in it ! - Q: What do you call a witch that stays out all night?
A: A fresh air freak ! - Q: What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg?
A: A cold spell ! - Q: Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
A: Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky ! - Q: What do you call a witch by the side of the road with her thumb out?
A: A witchhiker ! - Q: What is the favourite subject of young witches at school?
A: Spelling ! - Q: Why did the witch consult an astrologer?
A: She wanted to know her horror-scope ! - Q: What is the difference between a witch and the letters M A K E S?
A: One make spells and the other spell makes ! - Q: What do little witches do after school?
A: Their gnomework ! - Q: Why do witches ride on broomsticks?
A: Because it's quicker than walking ! - Q: What's a witches favourite film?
A: My Fear Lady ! - Q: What do witches say when they overtake each other?
A: Broom, broom, broom ! - Q: Why do witches get good bargains?
A: Because they like to haggle !
Funny, right? ;-) Soon we’ll bring you a recipe to scare off all kinds of hunger.
Happy and horrible Halloween.
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